Gerald Barford, longstanding Conservative, left the London members club and poured himself into a waiting taxi. Evening drinks had been pleasant, although he was glad to be getting back to his Westminster apartment. He checked his watch. 3:12am. He sighed, knowing he was due back in the house at just after 11am. Another long day. He knew he’d make a good MP, he just needed a way in. That “way in” had been presented to him over the past few weeks; late night gossip slowly causing a plan to form. It was well accepted that many of the Members “enjoyed the company” of their assistants and secretaries when they were away from the wife, although he was always loyal to his wife, and always tried his hardest to do right for the people, at the expense of his family time, even at the expense of his health.
When he got back to his flat, he sat at his desk, writing up details of the MP’s various trysts, and the supporting evidence he had garnered from his boys club meetings, then eventually stumbled to bed as dawn approached.
**
The next morning, he woke late, poured himself a small gin to ease his head, and telephoned his contact at the horrible red –top newspaper. The journalist, Jim Accrington, had been waiting for this information for a while, and Gerry had finally delivered. The press embargo was set at a week to give Gerry time to sort out his affairs and cover his tracks, and everything was set.
**
One week later, the story ran. Jim sat at his desk, admiring the headline:
OUR MP’S SORDID AFFAIRS
He liked the dual meaning, their general affairs and their intimate affairs. The headline filled news stands, the copy fleshing out the sordid details. TV news bulletins soon followed with the same tearful wives either defending or lambasting their husbands, depending on how well they knew the political game of happy families. Gerry had only given details of eight MP’s, including two from his own party to help cover his tracks, but once those names came out, more people rang the papers, and soon there were more than forty member’s names sullied by undeniable allegations, as more underlings saw political capital in removing their bosses from power, and hasty reshuffles were made.
**
Over a month had passed, and the papers had run amok through the reputation of the political classes. MP’s affair’s had been the hook to get the public interest, then other revelations had come out about expenses claims made for costs incurred whilst wining and dining “clients”, assistants writing reports instead of the MP’s themselves, whilst the honourable member’s were holed up in hotel rooms, each revelation causing a fresh wave of controversy, and a fresh round of increased newspaper circulation.
The newspapers were now widening their net, looking for “Integrity” in their MP’s. Important issues for the nation, international issues, law changes, upcoming local elections, everything was put on hold as independent inquiries were held, backs were covered, hurried and embarrassing interviews were given and MP’s ran around with far more gusto than they had ever shown whilst attempting to run the country. Newspapers covered and recovered the story, always looking for new angles, for new revelations, for more sales.
**
Eventually, the newspapers drive for “integrity” altered the public opinion and forced a general election. MP’s lives had always been in the public eye, but due to new regulations, now almost everything they did, every minute of their day, every penny that they spent, was collated, checked and double checked to ensure nothing untoward was going on. The costs were great, and the “honourable” name of the members of parliament was no more.
Gerald Barford gained a seat at the election, having been one of the few MP’s completely left out of the previous revelations, and he took on his role with gusto, ensuring, as he always had done, that everything he did was in the public interest, and that all his staff were equally as untouchable. He wanted to bring the title of MP back to honourable levels.
In public, he quietly accepted the new regulatory regime, but in private he was overjoyed, being one of the few MP’s who was more than happy to have his affairs checked thoroughly. His innocent, hard working nature was finally being appreciated. He was being begrudgingly tipped for big things in the future by his colleagues.
After the election, the saga drew to a close, and newspaper circulations began to drop back down again, the stories exhausted, as celebrity arguments, divorces and near-topless photos could no longer draw the same readership as the leaders of the country. Profits fell and Newspaper editors looked for the new big story. A recently promoted Jim Accrington was enjoying boozy expensive lunches, had signed a publishing deal for a book about the biggest story he’d ever broke, and had one of the highest profiles on Fleet Street.
Unfortunately for Jim, the other journalists at his and other papers were beginning to resent the lack of stories he had brought in ever since “the big one”. Rumours were beginning to spread that he was a one-trick pony, which pricked his now inflated ego, and he searched his memory for another big story.
Months passed, his colleagues resentment grew, and the cache he had built up within journalism was fading, causing sleepless nights and writer’s block. His first book had been given a warm reception, but not warm enough. He had been coasting and he knew it.
The final straw came when he first heard about one Gerald Barford being tipped for Prime Minister in the near future. He knew he could get his reputation back, but this time he would have to capitalise on the opportunity. He made some calls, hunched over his word processor, and submitted the story. Next day, he sat back and admired his latest headline:
EXCLUSIVE!!
ANOTHER UNTRUSTWORTHY MP UNCOVERED!!
GERALD BARFORD: GRASS!!
